So beeeezeeee...

I'm sooooo busy laaaaa........ got 3 presentations+written reports (law, consumer behaviour and HR) to finish. Just finished consumer behaviour (at least my part la !) ... I'm dead tired... but i can't sleep...

I wonder if i hook up my brain to my Macbook Pro and press cmd+alt+esc... will my brain force shutdown too?

Sigh, i'm so reverting back to my old ways. I talk less and less because i feel so insecure about myself =.= I don't really know how to act around other people anymore. In the 1st place i've never been a secure person, trying to be a person i'm not is finally taking its toll on me. (Blame Toto?)

Words fail me... but i can still write i guess...

Love life? It occurs sometimes... like a falling star you know? We talk less and less. Well actually... we don't talk at all... He's supposed to be a person i can rely on, who is my salvation. Guess what? Every time i need comforting, all i get is a silouette facing the computer and an occasional grunt or glance as a response... He doesn't bother to call nowadays, just a hello? your home d? call *what a waste of maxis bill*, but thats better than anything i suppose. If i don't bother to talk to him, he totally ignores me. I'm getting more and more agitated and irritable with him, and him with me, we always end up fighting *or well... i do the whining, he basically ignores every single thing i say*. So basically now i'm on my own, again. What dreams i had of having a soul mate again flushed down the stinky toilet bowl. Buh byeeee...

There goes my relationship.

Studies? Well to tell the truth i appear in class once in awhile. I basically do my studying at home *when i feel like it*. Well, i've made a pact with my inner self to attend class more for the remaining semester. I don't feel like appearing at work anyway. I have to face him, which i don't really want to considering that its very tiring and any happiness i feel at the beginning of the day disappears within 10 minutes of being in a 5m vicinity of him. Found out that nobody in my class believes that i'm working... they all think i'm some sort of lazy fart who doesn't care about anything *well to some extent that is true haha*. I didn't feel to good about that initially, but then again, its not up to me to control how they think... as long as they don't irritate me...

There goes my studies.

Family? Don't mention it. I wish i didn't have anything to do with my so-called family. But they have provided for me and cared for me to some extent, well materialistically. I'm supposed to be grateful about that. So i'm basically stuck with them, even if they will continue to hurt me for the rest of my life. Except my father, he's basically been non-existent when i was growing up, so i hope he happily forgets about me and stays on with his other family, thankyouverymuch. Nothing much to say about something that will never change.

Work? New meaningless rules. Same old incompetent employees. Sadly, the people who actually have power in my company have a tendency to lean towards the big I. I loath going to work nowadays, and i used to love going to work. All they have in their minds is MAXIMIZE PROFIT LA !!! without realizing their actions are very-the-*censored* and very poorly planned and executed. I sympathize towards the people *namely my supervisor - i know you are gonna read this, don't question me about it. You know you won't get an answer* who give their heart and soul towards a company that might appreciate it, but do not know how to treasure it and instead trample all over it like dirt. The day i leave the office, i will shout out in the middle of the room about all the flaws they have and then they will sue me I will leave. Mwahahahahhaaha...

There goes my work...

So here i am, at my desk at 4.51am, because i can't sleep at all. Apparently my mess of a life apparent from my mindless ravings above has given me insomnia. I just cannot bloody fall asleep...

My mess of a life... i guess i just have myself to blame.

I'm lousy...

seriously lousy...

mou tak teng lousy...

not worth anyones time lousy...

Therefore i will....

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continue to read Brisinger !!!!!!!!

Hehehehehe
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